Beautiful Boy
by Bel Vezer
Summary: Piper's thoughts about her son after Prince Charmed.


**This is a one shot, using John Lennon's song _Beautiful Boy_****The story is set after Prince Charmed when Piper finds out Wyatt turns evil.**_  
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_Close your eyes  
Have no fear  
The monster's gone  
He's on the run and your mommy's here_

He's cradled in my arms, his head resting on my breast, snuggled warm and tight. I want him close. His breathing is steady and soft. He's fast asleep but I can't bear to put him in his crib. So, I squeeze him tighter and continue to sing.

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy_

He's beautiful. He truly is. And I swear I'm not just saying that because I'm his mother. As I brush a lock of his unruly blonde curls away from his brow and I can't help but be consumed by love. He's my baby. My baby boy. My beautiful baby boy.

_Before you go to sleep  
Say a little prayer  
Every day in every way  
It's getting better and better_

I can't help but wonder though. Is it getting better? Because it seems like it's getting worse. The attacks, the threats, the danger. From the day he was born. It's not fair. He didn't ask for any of this. To be born into this family. Into this magical world. He had no say in any of it. To be twice-blessed, coveted … hunted. He didn't and I didn't. If I had known … no, that's not fair either. I can't think like that. How could I live my life without him? This perfect little child? _The same way you live without her._ A little voice whispers. But it's not the same. I knew her for a day. I barely met her. I didn't carry her. Feel her kicks in my womb. Give birth to her. Nurse her. Hold her. He is my son. My life. It's not the same at all.

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy_

And he truly is. I can't help but smile as I gaze down at him. He croons in his sleep, a tiny smile on his face. He's so content and peaceful. He has no idea the danger that he was born into. The danger that is his birthright.

_Out on the ocean sailing away  
I can hardly wait  
To see you come of age_

_But I guess we'll both just have to be patient_

'_Cause it's a long way to go_

To be perfectly honest I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. I like to blame Chris for it but I know it's not his fault. It's not anyone's fault. Except maybe my own. Being patient is so hard. It's a crock. Mother Theresa wouldn't have been patient in my situation. I just want to know. I want to know if he'll be okay. If he'll be strong and healthy. If he'll be kind – good. I want to know if I fail. Fail to protect him, to keep him safe. If I fail as his mother.

_A hard row to hoe  
Yes it's a long way to go  
But in the meantime  
Before you cross the street  
Take my hand  
Life is what happens to you  
While you're busy making other plans_

I want to protect him. Keep him safe from everything. And yet I know that I can't. In fact this whole time, he's been protecting me. The irony is almost sickening. Even from the womb he shielded me from danger. He healed me. I was merely a vessel. I almost want to put him back. Back in my uterus, that is. Where he's safe. Where he's with me at all times. Where no one and nothing can hurt him.

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy_

Involuntary tears spring to my eyes as I watch him. The love I feel for this small boy is indescribable. I never knew there was enough room in my heart, in my very being, for all the love I have for him. Every time he grins, shakes his chubby little fists and drools, my heart fills with joy and adoration. Every cry, every poopy diaper is just an indication of the miracle that he is. I was worried how I'd cope with motherhood but now I can't imagine being anything else than a mother. Witch, wife, business woman, they all follow behind. He is my son, my life. I'd do anything for him and yet I still can't fathom why. Why us? Why him? Yet, again, it's no one's fault but my own. The Elder's warned us. They told us our union would only bring disaster. There were rules forbidding it. But I didn't care. We did it anyway. And here he is. This beautiful, golden, culmination of our love. So why? Why did it get twisted? Where did it go wrong?

_Before you go to sleep  
Say a little prayer  
Every day in every way  
It's getting better and better_

And I do. Every night. Not that I think anyone is listening. And if _they_ are, I hope it goes over their heads. I just hope there's something. Someone. That looks after all of us. Even the Elders. And that maybe, just maybe that someone will take pity on me. On my son.

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy_

Slowly, I stand, careful not to wake him. Not that he would wake. He sleeps like … well, a baby. Except, when there's a demon in the house. He must have some sort of sixth sense for them. He's always the first to know. It breaks my heart. He's just a baby. My baby. He shouldn't have to deal with these things. No one should. I walk to his room, gently, prolonging every moment that I get to hold him against me. Feel his soft skin against mine. But when I get to his crib I realize I can't. Not tonight. I'm sure some would consider it coddling but I need him close. I go back to my room, arrange the pillows carefully and then I lay down next to him. My beautiful, sleeping boy. I hold him close, breathing in his sweet baby scent.

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful  
Beautiful boy  
Darling, darling, darling  
Darling Wyatt_

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_**I know it's short. It's my first fic in first person though. Tell me what you think!**_  
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